My sister Amanda

November turned out to be shitty month! On Tuesday November 23, 2010 my sister Amanda Renee Chase went to be with our Lord. What an awful day. My beautiful sister Amanda was such a kind hearted beautiful woman. She had her demons and battle with addictions. The last 4 years of her life had been a bumping road and she had just turned over a new leaf. She had finally seen the light and cleaned up and started focusing on her son Landon. She was excited about her future and wanted to spend every waking moment with Landon.

Every time we would talk she would tell me how excited she was about meeting her SJ. She shared so many memories of her pregnancy and how much she enjoyed pregnancy. We reminisced on the all of the good times we had as kids. Growing up with Mandy was awesome! When my mom met my step dad Jeff and they introduced us kids to one another, Mandy and I realized that we already knew each other from the skating rink. He had hung out together at the lock ins. We both thought that was so cool! He clicked immediately.
Mandy was the good one and I was the bad one. I would always try to get Mandy to sneak out and smoke pot with me. Nope! She never would. She was always so scared "the parents" as we liked to called them would find out and she would get in trouble.

It's bitter sweet. I know that Mandy is in heaven looking down on me as I cry my eyes out and saying "its okay". I know shes finally at peace and I know she is sitting with Papa Chase and her twin Sandy that died 24 hours after birth.
I wish I had more time with her. I wish she had cleaned up years ago so we could have spent more time together. It hurts to know that I pulled away from her cause it hurt to bad to see her battle with addictions. But we all make our choices in life and we have to live with them. The good and the bad. The whole family tried over and over to get her help, begged and pleaded for her to find the old Mandy that we all loved and missed so dearly.
I made you a promise and I intend on keeping it. I will make sure that Landon grows up knowing who his momma was and how much you loved him.
We lost you here on earth but we gained a guardian angel. One day we'll see you again. So until them, I love you dearly Mandy and miss you so very much.